Things Fat People Can Laugh At

Wanted Weed Eater - $1

2010-06-20T04:01:00.000-07:00

Original ad

Wanted Weed Eater. If you have a Weed Eater in your garage that you don't use, please contact me.

My Email...

Hello,

Are you still looking for a weed eater? I have a good one you might be interested in. Let me know if you would like more details.

Thanks!

His Response...

Yes, Interested in the weed eater. What manufacture is it, does it work well, how much do you want for it?

Thanks

My Email...

Hello,

I am not sure what brand it is, I don't think it is branded. It is my dad's and he no longer lives with us so I am trying to sell this. It is a young model and is in excellent condition. But nothing eats weeds better than this one! I had a chance to use it one time and the whole yard was finished fairly quickly. I can most likely let you have it for about $35. I have some pictures if you are interested,

Thanks!

His Response...

Yes, please send some pictures of the weed eater. Where are you located? I'm in xxxxxx

Thanks

My Email...

Hello,

Here is a picture of my weed eater in my back yard. Let me know when you would like to pick it up. I am fairly close to where you are about a 10-15 minute drive I would say. Weed eater will be waiting in back yard. Would like to have you pick it up by the weekend if possible.

Thanks!

Click here for picture

His response...

Hi , I think you sent me a pic of a goat????

My Email...

Hello Ken,

Not just any goat, but one of the best weed eaters! Just set him loose in your backyard and he will reek havoc on your grass in a good way of course. All you need to do is just give it some water and he will work for hours on end. $35 bucks and it is yours !

Thanks!

2 Sony DirecTV Satellite receivers no remote

2010-06-20T03:36:00.000-07:00

Original Ad

This was sent around Christmas time last year

I HAVE 2 SONY DIRECT TV RECEIVERS I AM GIVING AWAY FOR FREE. DOES NOT COME WITH REMOTE OR ANY CABLES. THIS IS JUST THE TWO RECEIVERS, EMAIL ME IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO PICK THEM UP

PETER

So I email him...

Hello Peter,

I am inquiring about your ad on about the free 2 year subscription to Direct TV. You state that it comes with a remote and a manual on how everything works. You also state that it comes with HD cables and everything that is needed for hookup. The satellite dish that you will install, how big is it and how good is the signal? I live in the Nevada desert in my motor home and was wondering if that would be a difficult installation for you to make. I know its a way to travel but I can find any deals like this in Nevada. Usually it cost like a 100 a month. Yours is FREE to 2 years! I cant believe it. I always thought deals like this are too good to be true but you sir have proved me other wise.

I will be home on the weekend. I know its Christmas weekend but i figured you wont mind. My wife will cook up some hot soup for you and we can talk about what its like to live in the Nevada desert. Bring some Miskito spray because at night it could get pretty bad out here. I have guns in my motor home in case we get some late night coyotes. It has not been to bad but the ranger told me that there have been some sighting lately. If one decides to charge you, just yell for me and I will hunt him down. If you look around you will find all kinds of rocks and debris to throw at him. Wild beasts I tell ya but they just keep coming back.

One time I left my chickens out there and in the morning just bones on the ground. It was sad but I got over it with some time. Do not worry, we buried the bones and had a little funeral. I know all this sounds crazy, but a chicken here in Nevada is a lot like dogs in Sacramento. We get really attached to them. They become like family and each one has its own personality.

But I'm going way off topic, the important thing here is the HD box. How well will I receive the HD signal? I might be old but a good picture is important to me. I there anyways I can maybe pay you a little for the installation, I know it is against company policy to accept tips on the job but I figured when you are 50 miles out in the middle of no where no one will know... only the coyotes maybe. Dirty beasts I tell ya! Ate my chicken! Can you believe it! I was going to make some chicken soup with it the following day. Dirty Beasts I tell ya!

Peter Thank you for your time. I hope to talk with you soon and will be sure to clean my motor home for you so it will be a pleasant stay. If it gets dark you can always sleep here if you want. Me and my wife will just sleep on the floor. Once again I thank you for your time and hope to speak with you soon.

Thanks

Steve.

His response was pathetic...

Hi Steve,
Sorry they are gone!
Peter

place to dump leave n/very small branches

2010-05-04T06:02:00.000-07:00

Original ad

let me know what you want or how we can get R/done
Lee at xxx-xxx-xxxx
Thank You

I email him...

Hello Lee,

Are you still looking for places to take a dump? Because I have some good locations if you are interested. Let me know!

Thanks

His response...

Hi,

Yes, I'm still looking.

Thank You!

My email...

Hello,

I have a couple of good locations for you. Take a look at the photo's and let me know when you want to come by and do your business. I can meet you there and make sure everything goes well.

Thanks!

Location 01
Location 02

His response...

quit wasting my time, _ _ _ _ _ _ _

snake wanted willin too pay money for your snake - $5555555

2010-05-01T22:43:00.000-07:00

Reply to: xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I am looking for a snake. I currently have one right now but would like another one. Willing to pay! Let me know what you have.

I email him...

Hello,

Hey I got a snake I can just give away to you. It is a python snake. Honestly it just got so the point where I cant keep it anymore because of its size. I don't have a cage for it right now because its hard to find a cage that big. I have a 3 bedroom house and just let it occupy one of the rooms. If you can just come by and pick him up I can give it to you for free. I just need him gone because hes starting to scare me. Let me know if you are interested, I can send you a picture of it.

Thanks!

He responds...

YA I WOULD BE ABLE TOO COME GET IT CAN I SEE WHAT HE LOOK LIKE???? HOW LONG IS HE????

THANKS JERRY

MY WIFE WOULD LOVE TOO GET IT LOL

IT IS A SUPRIZE FOR MY WIFE SHE WANT ONE REALY ABD

My email...

Hello,

Yea your wife should love this snake. I'm not exactly sure how long it is. I have not actually measured it yet. I included a picture of it so you can get an idea of what he looks like. I took that picture of him in my back yard. Let me know when you can come by and pick it up. It really needs a good new home. I just hope you will take good care of it.

Thanks!

Click here to see a picture of my snake

His response...

F**********K SORRY ABOUT MY MOTH BUT DAMM HE IS HELLA BIG !!!!!!!!!!!!!HOW OLD IS HE??????HOW LONG HAVE U HADE HIM?????? DOSE HE BIT ?????

AND WHATTHE HELL DO U FEED HIM???

My email...

Hello,

Yea he is rather large. I have been feeding him anything from rabbits to stray cats to lots and lots of rats. I don't know he just kept getting bigger and bigger. As far as the bitting, I'm a big guy so he does not bite me. I would not recommend having any small kids around him. I don't know, I just want him to find a new house. I'm honestly a little scared of him, hes so freaking big and just keeps growing. I will let you have him for free if you have a truck you can put him into. If I was to guess... I would say hes about 20 feet long. So when can you pick him up? Just get this snake out of my house man before he ends up eating me in my sleep.

Oh and, he is 4 and a half years old. His name is Lester.

Thanks

His response...

DID U EVER HAVE HIM IN A CAGE ???? OR WAS HE ALL WAYS IN THA ROOM RUNNIN AROUND????? WERE ARE Y LOCATED AT?????

S**T WOULD U BE WILLIN TOO HELP LOAD HIM UP?????AND DO U HAVE ANYMORE PIC?????

My email...

Hey

Ive had him in a cage when he was smaller but they obviously dont have cages that big that you can just go and buy. I have him in the master bedroom of my house and it still looks like its not enough room for him. I live in el dorado hills. Do you have any pets or small children living with you? If you are going to come by and pick him up make sure you bring a few people. I was able to pick him up by my self when I first got him 3 years ago but hes gotten so big now it will take about 4 people to put him into the back of a truck. Make sure its either an SUV or a truck with a camper shell. I obviously don't handle him any more, I will leave the door open and he kind of comes and goes as he pleases. The feeding I do outside, and trust me, I make sure to feed him a lot. Not feeding him is a very bad idea if you know what I mean. I will try to find more pics but I think that might be the only one I have. So you would be willing to take him ? Let me know!

His response:

OK YA I LIVE IN WEST SAC ..... AND I HAVE A NOTHER PYTHON WHO IS A YEAR OND AND ABOUT 1 1/2 FOOT LONG...YA I GOT A BIG ASS DODGE 1500 WITH A CAMPER SELL

My email...

Hey,

I found another picture of him from a year and a half ago. This is him in my halfway. Hes a lot bigger now but this is just another picture I found. Its amazing with these snakes, I swear it seems like every time they shed they charge the shade of their skin. In this picture he looks a lot more brown and more greenish in my outside picture. I wouldn't keep your other python in the same room as this one. These snakes are territorial from what I understand. Are you sure you can handle this snake? Let me know because I dont want to be liable for anything happening. This is kind of a daily thing for him, he will just make his way to my back yard through my hall way just like you see here.

Click here to see picture 02

His response:

YA I MEAN I WILL BE ABLE TOO HANDE IT .... I JUST NEED TOO KNOW IF U CAN JUST U KNOW GO PED HIM AND HE WONT BIT

My email...

Here is a more recent picture of it in my driveway

Click here to see picture 03

Yea I'm not sure... I mean I've had him for a while so he got really use to me being around. I don't think I've ever let any one else get close. Not too sure how he will react. I guess we will find out when you come to pick him up. Are you a big guy? If you are a big guy I think you should be fine.

His response...

YA I AM A BIG GUY I AM ONLY 18 BUT I WEIGHT 280 POUNDS SO YA

My email...

Hey Jerry....

Common guy... think about it... there is NO WAY I can have a snake this HUGE in my house! It would eat me like 20 times already! I was joking around. I don't think any zoo in California even has a python that big. Just wanted to see how you would react. Lol if that was my snake, you'd see me on the channel 10 news. "20 Foot Snake eats its owner" Hopefully you got a few laughs out of this! Have a great night man !

His response...

HAHA YA BECUSE I JUST LOOKED ON GOOGLES AND I SEEN IT I WAS ABOUT TOO SAY HELLA NOW AFTER I SEEN THAT S**T LOL

My email...

LoL, its always good to find some one with a sense of humor about these things! Yea man no worries, if I get a 20 foot python sometime in the future I will be sure to let you know! LoL Have a great night, don't forget to pick up that snake this weekend.

His response...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHA YA WRIGHT I WOULDD HAVE SOLD THAT S**T

Update

I have no clue why this dude always uses CAPS... and yes his grammar and spelling skillz are superb :)

Quick Message for the viewers

2010-04-30T04:28:00.001-07:00

1. If you do not like to blog... I don't care

2. If you do not think this blog is funny.... I still don't care

3. If you do not find the content on this site worth reading... refer to 1 & 2

Now for those who enjoy the content and enjoy reading everything on here feel free to continue to enjoy this blog :)

Comments from people who have nothing better to do than to look at websites they do not enjoy will not be approved, you know who you are. It is very touching that you send me so many lovely comments to show me how much you care and if you want to continue than by all means go for it ! I do that too once in a while... I will go to websites I really do not like on a daily basis just to tell the website how much I do not like it.... oh wait.. no I don't... I have better things to do with my time... like... let's see... oh that's right... visit only websites I enjoy... funny how that works :)

awesome bearded dragon lizard ( Part 2 )

2010-04-30T03:45:00.001-07:00

If you have not done so, first read Part One before reading this. Since he responded so negatively when I used my email I figured I should try with a different email. Let's see how he responds to "Jennifer"

This is the same posting as Part One

I email him...

OH MY GOSH!!!! ITS A DINOSAUR !!!! I THOUGHT THEY ALL DIED !!! BUT YOU HAVE ONE !!! AND YOU ARE SELLING IT !!! OH MY GOSH!!! HOW BIG IS IT!!!???? ARE YOU OK !?? HOW DOES IT NOT EAT YOU !!! IT LOOKS SOOOO BIGG !!!!! SO SCARY AND HUNGRY !!! PLEASE LET ME HELP YOU! I DON'T WANT IT TO EAT YOU !!! CALL SOMEBODY !! CALL 911 RIGHT NOW !!! YOU DO NOT HAVE MUCH TIME, THEY EAT TWICE A DAY !!! YOU MIGHT BE NEXT !!!

His response...

wow are you like 12 would expect something like this from a boy child but a girl wow or are you just using your mommas email thanks for the waste of the last few min of my life reading your stupid email that was not even funny+

My email...

Lighten up Chris!

Life is about enjoyment, why so serious?

His response....

good point.... im under a little stress... reason for all the hostility is my house is infested with mold thats wy im movin... lost alot of my stuff beceause it... and i really dont want to get rid of my pet but i have to and it sucks.... and right before i looked at your email i had i guy ask me if i would sell him so he could eat him like as cook him and serve him up. got me a little pissed even asked me if he tasted good the nerve... and i dont think he was kidding..
sorry for the harsh words.
and i read your email again and it is funny you just caught me at a bad time
sorry again so how old are you? just curious...........

awesome bearded dragon lizard ( Part 1 )

2010-04-29T02:50:00.000-07:00

Date: 2010-04-21, 2:42PM PDT
Reply to: xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

hello i have a bearded dragon lizard and i am moving he needs a home he is about a 1 1/2 old and 14 inches long he very healthy and loves people he has shed 4 times. comes with huge custom cage and lots of extras you will need nothing just plug in. asking small price for the cage... call for more info ask for nina or chris xxx - xxx - xxxx if i cant find a home in time he will most likely be given to a pet store just so i now that a will find a good home.

So I email him...

Hello !

Ive always wanted to eat one of these. If I just want to buy him to cook, what kind of price could you give me? Do they taste good?

Thanks in advance!

He responds...

first off your a xxxxx........ asking a question like that about someones pet I'm trying to find a good home... you want to eat my dog to? how about my cat? and last but not least GO xxxx YOURSELF

My Email...

Chris....

That was very rude... I really thought for a second that you were serious about the cat and dog.... I don't think we will be able to do business together.

Thank you

He never replied...

sweet guinea pig with cage & food (midtown)

2010-04-28T16:39:00.000-07:00

Date: 2010-04-24, 12:26PM PDT
Reply to: xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I have a 1-year old guinea pig. He is such a sweet piggy, and I want him to go to a good home. My Son has grown, working and no longer has time for pet guinea pig. Rehoming fee includes cage, exercise ball and food. $80 dollars for everything.

So I email them....

Hello,

I am really disappointed with this posting! "Son has grown, working and no longer has time for pet guinea pig" EXCUSE ME! No more time!? This is a live animal! Why is guinea pig being neglected! This poor thing. Lived a life, ate and drank and all it did is love and more love and how do you repay it for all of it love!!! You get rid of it!? and not just get rid of it, but get rid of it on over the internet. For all I know some one will buy it and feed it to their snake! Is this something you do on a regular basis? You raise and abandon animals for a living? How bout you teach your son some animal respect and have him hold on to this poor critter till it ages and has a happy death like it ought to. I am Sorry for such a negative email but I'm really passionate about these little angels. Please sir, tell your son hes going to keep it and do this poor guinea big a favor and let it stay at home.

Thank you

She responds...

Shame on you for being such a nasty person.

This pet is well take care of and never wants for food, water or attention.

Better that we find a nice home where he will be taken care of than to have him neglected...which sir, he is not!

Didn't your mother teach you that if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all?

This is what I have taught my son....like when he wanted me to respond to you to tell you, your an idiot, I told him that was not a very nice thing to say and we would not stoop to this gentleman's level.

Too bad you are not as passionate towards the kind treatment of humans.

Regards,

The mother of a decent, kind and well mannered young man.

I email her back...

Hello,

Have you ever heard people say that there are "really crazy people on the internet?" Yea.... well I'm not one of them but once in a while its fun to pretend....

Thank you for your some what kind reply... I'm VERY passionate about good treatment of humans... Like this one time I got my girlfriend some flowers and she smiled.....

Anyways... Sorry for that email. It was just me having too much time on my hands! I hope you can sell your extremely hairy friend soon and hopefully it finds a loving home and does not go home to some one who will feed it to their snake....

I really hope I did not offend you at all ! Hopefully after all this is said and done you will smile and say! Ha! Silly guy!

Her response...

Thank you. :)

Rabbit Found

2010-04-27T18:57:00.001-07:00

Date: 2010-04-23, 6:31PM PDT
Reply to: xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I was walking home from school and found this rabbit. He has a collar on him and it simply says Pierre. Clearly this rabbit belongs to someone! If this is your rabbit give me a call xxx-xxx-xxxx

So I send them an email...

Hello,

If you do not find an owner for that rabbit please let me know. I would like to feed him to my Boa Snake. I will give you 20 bucks for it.

Thanks!

She emails back...

Steve,

I won’t sell poor Pierre the rabbit off as a meal, but I appreciate your honesty. Boas need food, too!

Sara

lawn mower~~the kind i can use by pushing!!

2010-04-26T09:21:00.000-07:00

Date: 2010-04-19, 11:26PM PDT
Reply to: xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

i need 1 of those lawn mowers that i can just push along the yard ~~~the yard is not so big i need a real lawn mower but i do need something!LOLthanks please send pic and price thanks

Location: anywhere

So I email them...

Hello,

If you are looking to save money on a lawn mower I have a bunch in my back yard lying around. I have not used them in a very long time so I have no clue if any of them work or not though. But if you want, feel free to take them off my hands! They all appear to be in fairly decent shape. They were my dads, I have no clue why but he loved collecting the strangest things! This was part of his collection. I have no use for them so let me know if you are interested!

Thanks!

He Responds...

hi WOW thanks so much i would love to come and take 1, when is a good time 4 u?? thanks again,,i'm off Fri but let me know what works 4 u i also work nights so the earilier da better..and yeah people collect strange things BUT lucky 4 me cuz it's what i need

My Email...

Hey!

Ok so I figured I would include a picture of his collection to help you get an idea of what it is he has over there. Take a look at let me know witch one you want !

Thanks!

Click here to see lawn mower collection

He never replied... lol

Im looking for a kitten

2010-04-24T23:34:00.000-07:00

Date: 2010-04-21, 12:48PM PDT
Reply to: xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I have always wanted a solid white kitten, with blue eyes. If you have one, please contact me! :)

Location: anywhere where

So I email her...

Hello,

I have a very beautiful kitten I can let you have. My cat just had kittens and I do not need so many! I have one that is just super cute, it is mostly white, has some orange on it. But it has the most beautiful blue eyes! Very sweet and very loving. I do not need any money for it, I simply want her to go to a loving home!

Let me know if you are interested
Thanks!

She replies...

Yes! I am very interested! My cat passed away a few months ago.... I had him 26 years! I am still heartbroken, but ready to move forward and bring a new kitty into my life! :)

My Email...

Hello Kelly!

You had your cat for 26 years! That is amazing! Such a long time! Well... I am not sure if my cat will live that long but maybe if you take real good care of her she just might ! Here is a picture of my kitty, let me know if you would like to adopt this adorable angel.

Thanks!

Click here to see my Kitty

She replies...

That is not a kitten...... lol

Pet Sitting - Private Boarding, Doggie Day Care

2010-04-22T17:47:00.000-07:00

Date: 2010-04-21, 9:54PM PDT
Reply to: xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

We do dog and cat sitting, if you are leaving out of town or simply need some one to watch your pet's give us a call at xxx-xxx-xxxx You can bring your pet's to our house, we have a large yard and have been doing this for 5 years now. Call or email.

Location: Sacramento

So I email them...

Hello,

Hey I noticed you guys do dog and cat sitting and what not. What about snake sitting? I have a 15 foot snake and I'm going to be out of town for 2 weeks. Was wondering if you guys can watch him? He is too big for a cage so I let him move about the house. If this is something you can do please let me know. Thanks!

He Replies...

Hi Steve,

Well this is an unusual request. Obviously, I can’t keep the snake at my house. I have taken care of snakes before, but they were in a cage. What kind of snake is it and where do you live?? If it’s a huge boa constrictor, I don’t think I’d feel comfortable taking care of it if it’s not in a cage.

Thanks

Chris

My Email...

Hello Chris,

Yea that is the snake I have. I simply do not have a cage big enough for it. I mean were talking about an 15 foot snake here. Not too easy to find a cage that big for it. What you can do is, maybe just close it in a room and that way it wont bother you. Just open the door and feed it when it needs to be fed. This way you will not have to worry about anything happening. Just make sure the window is closed. Don't want that thing coming out of the house. It eats rabbit, not mice or rats. Those are way too small for this snake. If feeding it a mouse or a rat it will take like 3-4 mice or rats to make it full. I live in El dorado hills. Let me know if you can do this.

Thanks

He responds...

Hi Steve,

Does it eat live rabbits or frozen? Sorry for all the questions - I would need to come over for a consultation to see exactly what the situation is.

Thanks

Chris

My Email...

Hello,

I never even knew snakes eat frozen rabbits. I have always fed it live foods. Keep in mind this is a real big snake. Big enough to eat cats and some small dogs. I have a few rabbits in my back yard but that will only be enough for a few days. Can you give me an estimate on how much you would charge for something like this?

Here is a picture of my Snake, this way you can have a better idea as far as how big the snake is and what not. Let me know because I will be leaving in a week and I really need to figure out what to do with my snake.

Thanks!

Click here to see the picture

He responds...

Hi Steve,

Are you available for a consultation tomorrow around 5:00pm. My husband and I can meet you then.

Please let me know.

Thanks

Chris

He does not even get surprised by the size of the snake!!!

WANTED - Fresh Cut Trees & Un-Split Firewood Logs

2010-04-21T21:08:00.000-07:00

Date: 2010-04-21, 8:41PM PDT
Reply to: xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

We are looking for fresh cut tree's/logs If you have anything you recently cut down and are trying to get rid of let us know. We can also come to you and cut down a tree you may still have that you want to remove.

John
xxx-xxx-xxx

My email:

Hello,

I have a rather large tree I would like to get rid of. Now.. do you guys cut them down by any chance? I can pay you for this because I'm clueless on how to cut something like this down. I don't know much about cutting tree's down. Let me know how much you would charge for this. I included a picture of my self next to the tree.

Thanks!

Click here to see my tree

He never responded....

Wanted free boat (anywhere)

2010-04-21T20:09:00.001-07:00

Date: 2010-04-21, 7:58PM PDT
Reply to: xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I am looking for a free boat or a boat that may need some minor work that you would be willing to get rid of. Email me at xxxxxxxxx

Location: anywhere
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

My Email:

Hello,

I have a yatch that has been docked for about 3 years now. I work all the time and I just cant find time to go on it anymore. My loss is your gain I guess.... I'm paying monthly for the storage at pier 31 in San Francisco and I would really like to get rid of that payment. Let me know if this is something that you would like to take off my hands. If you are interested, I can send you some pictures of it.

Thanks!

His response:

yes im interested, you said you have some pics,

my email xxxxxxxxxxxxx

thanks!

bill

I email back...

Hello,

Here are a few pictures of my boat. Im sick of the monthly payments. It cost me a $100 a month to keep it docked over there in San Fransisco. Take a look at the pictures and let me know if we can work something out.

Thanks

4 attachments —

His response:

this must be a joke! that is a nice boat ! you know im really looking for a free boat , i cant aford to buy one right now , if you are for real and you want to give me this boat for free i will take it,

if its a joke ha ha the laughs on me, send me a massage or call me xxx-xxx-xxxx

thanks

Bill

Mission Statement & Rules

2010-04-21T17:17:00.000-07:00

The goal of this blog is to put a smile on the face of every man, woman and child! To do it in a clean PG matter without the need for profanity or improper language.

Blog Rules:

No improper language, no personal information, no boring stuff !